YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SAILED PAST 35 ON HOLIDAY WHEN…
Obviously I mean 40…
Topless sunbathing is interesting for less than 10 seconds and you find yourself looking at people’s faces on the beach.
Boules and Pain au chocolate don’t matter but you pine for the novelty of a childhood Orangina or Citron Presse.
You don’t care what people will think so breathe out as well as in when in swimming trunks.
You phone your family to see how your pets are coping
The sport Billies on the campsite are no longer intimidating.
You stop caring about the languages you don’t speak.
You absolutely know that teenagers today are less cool than on the 80s.
You may nonchantly say “I’m going to put on a few pounds and that’s fine” before you go… But just like a hangover, the reality has you swearing abstinence.
Getting up at 4am to travel is still exciting but driving between 6 and 8 is awful.
Lining up the car from the wrong side at a toll booth is trickier than you think.
Lying down in 30degree heat all day is more tiring than you think.
Eating outside is always better.
Your White bits look irresistible… To you.
Watching English football abroad still seems like a gauche treat.
You look at the price of everything, I mean everything.