Didsburydad's Blog

From the not so mean streets of M20, blog about being a dad, Didsbury and dealing with parental confusion

Archive for the month “July, 2013”

Boldly Going Where Most People have Been Before

I am man hear me Roar.

Stop the Clocks, then ring the bells for daddom and call me Emperor. This week I have been in sole charge of the Earl of Round Heads and Queen Smiley of Didsbury. No disasters, no trips to casualty, I even remembered which one wears pink and wasn’t abusive to any of the pinheads in the park who mistake a walk with a double buggy for an invitation to invade my personal space and wrongly guess the sex of my children.

Striding forward for mankind

Striding forward for mankind

Following a guide more powerful than Gina Ford (i.e. a  list with times on it from Didsbury Wife), I completed my first serious stint as a Stay at Home Dad (well actually a sit in Café Nero as long as possible dad) I am now an expert and ready to host patronising Q&As with other nervous fathers. My tip is get a big sheet of paper. Now write four things in bold letters – FEED CHANGE PLAY SLEEP. Whatever the issue, the answer is usually one of these things.

Then set your alarm for planned feed and change times and bingo. It is like falling off a horse – painful, leaving you with sore limbs, dirty and smelling. The twins were filled, emptied, cooed to and got to sleep on time and it was only this morning I realised that I had not shaved, had only glanced at basic hygiene and my T-shirt looked like an advert for Persil (before).

After Day 1 I was knackered. After Day 2 I felt a rush of appreciation for anyone who spends all day with children (except PE teachers – they have their own ring in hell). On Day 3 it suddenly clicked (cue Little House on the Prairie theme tune).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LflpVIh43bs

I planned the day as though it was a show, working backwards from getting them down at night (curfew) to morning feed and change (load-in). Once I had this worked out it was easy and I even gave The Might Headed boy low-slung jeans so he looked like a roadie. With the mechanics sorted there came the revelation. I enjoy this. They are good company and Didsbury Wife has them so happy it isn’t that hard. I was transported back to a little Didsbury Son. The babies laughed as I gooned about and gave me the kind of instant approval as I entered their eyeline you can usually only get from an X Factor audience if you’re Olly Murs (insert this year’s Olly Murs).

Olly DD

Doppelganger for Didsbury Dad

In a few hours my plan changed from world domination at whatever it is I now do to being a combination of Anthea Turner, Nigel Slater, David Beckham and Timmy the Lamb. Obviously, all this is until the football season starts; then they need their mother.

Re-imagining without imagination

Didsbury’s gone building and refurb crazy. If you can’t find your favourite builder on Daytime TV then pop down to M20 on the Metro to find them here and check out what they’re up to.

Dene Road’s last few one-lady owner, not refurbed since the 70s opportunities have finally passed through their family’s estates to keen builders and eager amateurs with exactly the same plan. This is to turn that 3-bed 30s semi into a 21st Century dynamic individual des-res. in homage to Life of Brian they still look exactly the same. Same extended porch, two-story kitchen/diner and en-suite addition, same mark-up. I’m only jealous.
Dene Road, which sweeps from the centre of the village to the leafy über-residences near Marie Louise Gardens should have a picture of Martin Roberts and Kirstie Allsop at the entrance. This is the living embodiment of Homes Under the Hammer.

The retailers have caught the bug. The Fletcher Moss looks like its landscaping the smoking section. i want to see one of those big signs outside reading “Last Pub before the Metrolink”.

Our new improved Aldi has opened after weeks of serious work. I went on the opening day and was slightly disappointed to see that all the JCBs had made space for was more wine (Cabernit Sovinyon and Reeoka) and some balloons on the aisles.

The rest of the village is moving on from the Tapastastic O-ism of Cibo, Nido and the Nepalese tapas on Burton Road. Adios or Au Revoir Tapas welcome the rise of the indigenous cuisine. Expo continues to keep the O theme and looks a serious bit of competition for the Sponge Bob Crabbyicinis and Didsbury Deli and (with thanks to @craftwords) the village will soon host almost as many Cafes as haircutters (if we get any more niche people will get confused with Chorlton).
Where there is Tyson Design bring me Didsbury Lounge. Peter Wilcox are you sending your shorn punters to the speedily refitted former morose newsagent that will be Appleby’s? Appleby’s promises “Hearty English Refreshment”. I’m intrigued and slightly salivating at this contradictory description. Hearty and refreshing, its truth could be nearer to my Jewish Mother’s view that a four course Friday night meal that could floor a horse is “something light”. Or maybe its English Tapas; like the mini Yorkshires and Sausage Rolls you get from Iceland when you want to impress someone you don’t rate. I’m intrigued.

20130704-153125.jpg

Re-imagining without imagination

Didsbury’s gone building and refurb crazy. If you can’t find your favourite builder on Daytime TV then pop down to M20 on the Metro to find them here and check out what they’re up to.

Dene Road’s last few one-lady owner, not refurbed since the 70s opportunities have finally passed through their family’s estates to keen builders and eager amateurs with exactly the same plan. This is to turn that 3-bed 30s semi into a 21st Century dynamic individual des-res. in homage to Life of Brian they still look exactly the same. Same extended porch, two-story kitchen/diner and en-suite addition, same mark-up. I’m only jealous.
Dene Road, which sweeps from the centre of the village to the leafy über-residences near Marie Louise Gardens should have a picture of Martin Roberts and Kirstie Allsop at the entrance. This is the living embodiment of Homes Under the Hammer.

The retailers have caught the bug. The Fletcher Moss looks like its landscaping the smoking section. i want to see one of those big signs outside reading “Last Pub before the Metrolink”.

Our new improved Aldi has opened after weeks of serious work. I went on the opening day and was slightly disappointed to see that all the JCBs had made space for was more wine (Cabernit Sovinyon and Reeoka) and some balloons on the aisles.

The rest of the village is moving on from the Tapastastic O-ism of Cibo, Nido and the Nepalese tapas on Burton Road. Adios or Au Revoir Tapas welcome the rise of the indigenous cuisine. Expo continues to keep the O theme and looks a serious bit of competition for the Sponge Bob Crabbyicinis and Didsbury Deli and (with thanks to @craftwords) the village will soon host almost as many Cafes as haircutters (if we get any more niche people will get confused with Chorlton).
Where there is Tyson Design bring me Didsbury Lounge. Peter Wilcox are you sending your shorn punters to the speedily refitted former morose newsagent that will be Appleby’s? Appleby’s promises “Hearty English Refreshment”. I’m intrigued and slightly salivating at this contradictory description. Hearty and refreshing, its truth could be nearer to my Jewish Mother’s view that a four course Friday night meal that could floor a horse is “something light”. Or maybe its English Tapas; like the mini Yorkshires and Sausage Rolls you get from Iceland when you want to impress someone you don’t rate. I’m intrigued.

20130704-153125.jpg

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