Didsbury Dad’s guide to a coalition government
By the time you read this we may have a new Prime Minister (no politics except family politics in this blog but fingers crossed, please, pretty please). We may have twins, triplets or even quads saving/savaging this sceptred Isle dependent on your view. We could have probably done with the royal baby (one for each of the twins now – looking to set up a play date ) coming a week later to distract the Daily Mail and be claimed by whichever team wins.
I always wanted to go up to the policeman outside Downing Street and say “Cameron and Clegg – twins eh, double trouble, bet you’ve got your hands full.”
Anyway, back to the multiples. This is somewhere I can advise. I have been that person pacing nervously, holding hands with Mrs Didsbury when the nurse surveys the scan and says “I’m pleased to tell you it’s twins.”
It’s a feeling that is hard to contain, wonderful and jaw-dropping simultaneously as your mind goes pinging and the most pointless logistical thoughts go through your head. They may as well tell you it’s free all day at DFS if you can memorise the barcodes and tell them your top 5.
The permanent private under-secretaries will be going through the same process today. Will Dave share a bunk with Nigel? Is Ed going to be troublesome if he squabbles with Nicky and would Justine mind him sharing with Leanne, Nicola and possibly The Green Lantern. The bathroom rota with all of them at Downing Street could be awful and how can you make sure that everyone gets enough cuddles, porridge and one-to-one time.
If it’s twins then the country may be thinking what I was three years ago in a windowless room in Stretford; “Waheeey, Oh My God, More, less, donkey, how does Lucy Meacock always look so fresh on Granada Tonight
But it will be okay. We will survive. In five years when they are all potty trained and have learned to share we can try again and I will wager we will be having the same arguments, the same accusations, the same alliances we have now – like any good family get together.