Didsburydad's Blog

From the not so mean streets of M20, blog about being a dad, Didsbury and dealing with parental confusion

Archive for the category “5 year old twins”

Forgotten Didsbury, A Trilogy. Part 1

** No actual research was disturbed during the writing of this blog**The Mighty Headed Boy squeezed my hand tightly and pushed himself further into the folds of my coat. “What happened Dear old Didsbury Dad? What caused this?” I picked him up in my arms, cradling him, forgetting he’s a lot heavier than he looks and I’m so far past my 30s it sends me reminders. “It’s Solita. They make burgers acceptable in an ironic way to hipsters with beards. They once made a burger so pretentious McDonalds had to think up the Grand Big Mac.NIMBY – Chorlton and Fallowfield are close enough. (We have transport)Before that it was Cibo, a bizarre amalgamation of PR gone wrong and too many aspirin in a Blue Sky Thinking Session.” Scallops from Piccolino. I couldn’t find anyone who had eaten at Cibo. “And?” He begged. The wind biting through the space between us and chapping our fingers.“Before that it was La Tasca. Magical and affordable when you wanted to get hammered and crawl home following the scent of garlic. La Tasca was A Spanish restaurant that thrived and buzzed before we even knew what a Padron Pepper looked like. And before that, a purpose built coffin of a fish restaurant called Burns that even the 70s rejected. Before that even I can’t remember. But I know that the original Harriet & Dee was a foundry for miniature products and the Didsbury Village Physio helped good, salt of the earth working people so they could go back to their Surveyors Offices and Solicitors before drinking and smoking at The Old Grey Horse, once it stopped being The Cavalcade.” Not Piementos de Padron.The Mighty Headed boy looked at me, bored beyond tears. “Can I have Kinder Egg daddy?” He cried.“Yes you can son, we can all have one.”


More of the same please

 On the wall is a picture of the twins at 1-day old with my hands around their tiny heads. My pearly princess looks angry. Eyes screwed up, she is bemoaning the need for oxygen and probably hoping The Mighty Headed Boy will shut up; he hasn’t. You may not see much of old friends but you do get to pet a lot of goats.

His huge round head – like an animated bowling ball reflects a sense of anxious confusion which lasted a few weeks before settling into a bullish, balletic enthusiasm that never drops below flat out. And Alpacas

This, a picture of a hairless, toothless and smiling Didsbury Son aged 4 months and a tear stained screenshot of the winning goal in an improbable cup final are my gallery of inspiration. Mighty

This week the twins are 5. I know this without checking any calendars. I know this because I look 10 years older, have not seen any of my friends voluntarily since 2013 and my hips, elbows and knees creak like a Caribbean gazebo in a hurricane. Pearly
I’ve been through this before, but the prospect of them being 5 is terrifying and baffling. 5, that’s half a decade, add a decade to them and they’re surly strangers who no longer think I’m wonderful.
The 5 years seem like seconds and an eternity. My life pre-twins seems as distant as a Sunday afternoon black and white war film. I remember it, but it could just be a film.
It also seems like seconds ago I was showing off walking downstairs with one in each arm and they were inert smiley blobs that were 90% head. 
5. I can’t call them boddlers or toddlers at 5. I can’t pretend that they’re babies anymore – although I still think I’m slightly in shock. I can empathise with the 50 items in a big transformer type bag that new parents have, but our commonality is drifting. All I need are the occasional pair of extra pants and the ability to produce Kinder Eggs on demand. 
In every way they are a joy to me and the very busy centre of my world. Their little successes are ones I am openly a big softy about and their trials fill my thoughts. It is the most wonderful curse and one that removes you from many of the arenas and people you used to crave.
I’m a dull doting dad and I love it. In Emma Jane Unsworth’s brilliant book (soon to be film) “Animals” the response to a pregnancy announcement is “Another one lost for a decade.”

I’m halfway there and happily lost. 

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