I’ve Never Seen Star Wars. This was a great idea and worked well on radio until the second series when the B list celebs got wise and we were treated to a feigned angst over “I’ve never had a full body massage from a £300 per hour West End masseur followed by dinner at The Ivy and advice from a Tax Lawyer”. The reveal didn’t work.
I was thinking about this because a) there is only so much Iggle Piggle or Minecraft a dad’s brain can hold. B) oooh, a nappy. C) I’ve never watched Doctor Who (intentionally or for more than 5 minutes.) it was a global phenomenon last weekend. I met the writer at an event. He seemed lovely. Whilst all the talk was of Gallifrey ( or Gallipoli or something), all I could think of was how much I despised big scarves at school. I’ve only seen 1 Harry Potter and managed to find friends and family to take Didsbury Son to Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Dungeons and Dragons, zzzzzzzzzz
But. – what is the Didsbury equivalent? I’ve never parked on a double yellow in Didsbury Village? I’ve never had a haircut on School Lane? I never worked out what the smell is at Cineworld? Here are mine…
1. I’ve never stood outside The Nelson dancing for the traffic. It’s always my favourite set of lights to stop at. Last week Didsbury Son and I were treated to a beer inspired Soft Shoe Shuffle that was worthy of Strictly…
2. I’ve never seen anyone coming in or out of Didsbury Conservative Club. Once Fred Silvester disappeared they melted like (insert melting Doctor Who character) Nigella’s chocolate pudding and bankability.
3. I’ve never ordered something at Folk without having to repeat 5 minutes later. Give the waiters pens.
4. I’ve never worked out which tree covers the graves of Bonnie Prince Charlie’s soldiers by the river.
5. I’ve never got over the loss of Hippins, then Linen.
6. Altogether now… I’ve never been to Nido and it looks like the lights are off for good on the restaurant that cast no shadow.
More lights than Nido and looking for a pen for a Folk waiter