Didsburydad's Blog

From the not so mean streets of M20, blog about being a dad, Didsbury and dealing with parental confusion

Archive for the tag “Donald Trump”

Getting Over the Brexit Blues

Apologies for going quiet. I have written eight or nine blogs in the last two weeks. Topics have included the disappearance of the magnificent AiryFairyCupcake on School Lane – why? Was it something we didn’t say? Its replacement by a Babyscanner is genius. The nearest is in Old Trafford and if we know one accessory always popular in M20 it’s a baby. We were offered one so early in the Twins’ development they would have still liked like dust under the carpet and my advice is be careful, at 20 weeks they still look like an outtake from Alien. 

I also wrote about the Viz gonad sign coming down in the village, the replacement of summer with a repeating week from Autumn and the trials of coordinating family, work, health and the European Championships. Boris Johnson’s post Brexit strategy document was less than impressive.

None has made it past notes. Each has turned into a self-pitying rant and call to arms for the soul of the nation split by the ridiculous Etonian argument. Since we voted to leave Europe (when I say “we” I mean the whole herd, not our bit grazing happily on focaccia obviously) I have moped, railed, cried, feared and read a lot of clever articles that would have been brilliant a week earlier. Had these tremendous minds talked in advance rather than pointing and saying “Told you so” afterwards it may have been different. They remind me of the Donald Trump & Nigel F*rage memes that have filled social media over the last year. Whilst we’ve chuckled and “liked” their crassness and the ease of satirising them, they have both hoovered up votes and influence. They talked to people too easily dismissed.

I’m sure some people voted “no” with positive intentions and I hope I’m wrong. I’m fairly used to being in the minority. BUT for those thinking this will re-invigorate the job market and bring wages, standards and vitality up – you must be too young to remember 79-97 and why New Labour and their domestic policies were met with such gusto. I’m digging out my Redskins records and preparing to find happiness in different ways. 

Revised post-vote integrated transport system for Manchester

Have a look at his Jonathan Pye video – says it better than I ever could. 

So as a Didsbury Dad so far past 39 that when I first heard about “Thatcher the milk snatcher” I thought it was a new character on Scooby Doo, this much I know.

1. Democracy is vital and I believe in it and will know longer use terms like bellend or mispronounce Jeremy Hunt when talking to people who voted “Brexit”, even those who thought it was “Brisket” and they were voting for a decent meat sandwich.

2. Over a decade as a Didsbury Dad has taught me that 90% of what I say is ignored, 5% is misunderstood and 5% is disputed. But at least I can add up. 

3. I feel personally responsible for the demise of TheAiryFairy Cupcake shop. When we moved house I gave up cupcakes – but sadly took up the pistachio biscuits and pain au raisins from Bisou Bisou

 4. I miss Cafe Rouge. It was originally a pre-work tryst location when I first met Didsbury Wife and we evolved with it into toddler-haven in its latter days. Bring it back.

Britishcakes

5. The bar menu at Chalk is so much better than you think it will be. 
6. Falling out over politics is a waste of time, we have to work together. However, if there’s someone you’ve been trying to ditch them this is the perfect moment to take offence at their “I’m not racist but…” Comment.
7. When I found out that the Tories had won in 92 I marched, angsted and made false promises. In 2015 when we found out it was over at 10.01pm I had an early night. On 24th June I swore loudly, was genuinely shocked and had to go and get milk. The world may be falling apart but my little enclave still has to have its routine. 

 Didsbury Son walks M20’s green and pleasant land – it is only that green because the weather’s been crap. 

A re-edit, navel gazing and core strength

At the age of 39 years, more than 39 months and 39 days this much I know about being a Didsbury Dad and the worries it brings.   
1. The DVLA are planning to introduce a section in the driving test that includes parking to pick up an order from Urban Grille on Wilmslow Road. To pass, customers have to avoid parking across a junction, pedestrian crossing and cycle lane without dropping their mobile or missing an expletive within the conversation they are having on it whilst parking.

2. In a year when the headlines have fed us a daily dose of carnage, megadeath, celebrity death, general hatred, fear and pointless politicians braying like a vine of a broken record there is solace in the simple pleasures of M20. 

I try to steer clear of politics in this column BUT living in a genuine multicultural area and enjoying the benefits of the 100% Polish Dot and her re-invention of the Pavillion in the park, the Finnish owned, Casa Italia, the German Supermarket chain, the best French patisserie outside Paris, the Nepalese etc. etc. Enforces why Didsbury is such a lovely place to live.  

 My greatest current joy is thinking that who or whatever was responsible for the word “Brexit” is probably a rich combination of the words TWAddle and caT. 
3. Bringing up a teenager, albeit that Didsbury Son is still rather lovely, requires the diplomacy and stealth of Jonathan Pines in The Night Manager. I am more naturally Iggle Piggle In The Nightgarden.  

  My last promo shot pre the twins’ birth shows the true effect of sleep deprivation 

4. Children go through many developmental stages. The twin boddlers are currently at the walk on every wall, pavement crack and step on any road. The average time to walk 500 yards is 20 minutes, 2 tantrums and a slight graze. 

5. My latest attempts to reach Self Actualisation involve Pilates and strengthening my “core”. (Who knew in the 80s that slouching and smoking weren’t positive lifestyle choices?). I now finally know what a neutral spine is (although I’m still more C than S), but tipping my pelvis under still sounds like it should be a euphemism for something you wouldn’t ask for on a first or second date.  

 Recreating I Am Kurious Orange for nursery

6. Donald Trump is not an idiot. Laughable at times yes, but clever in all the most negative of ways. A shadow print of Tony Robbins. 
7. When transatlantic fear and racism crowd my mind. When the challenges of call centres, tax changes, not being 20 something and life balance seem too much, i try to be positive. I lie awake at night listening to the house, the cats and the family breathing. Knowing that for at least half the house there is very little that can’t be solved with a Kinder Egg.  

  If there isn’t a My Little Pony in here I’m in trouble. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3HMhWB95ldQ


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