Didsburydad's Blog

From the not so mean streets of M20, blog about being a dad, Didsbury and dealing with parental confusion

Archive for the tag “Fog Lane”

Return of the Mooch

One of my greatest joys in life over the years has been my Saturday morning mooch with Didsbury Son. This meander down the old railway line in search of a Tesco sausage with my little blondini squeaking life’s joy next to me was a little slice of heaven.

Metrolink Mania, which is still sweeping Didsbury with rash tales of Breakfast in Rochdale has unwittingly returned this to me.

Didsbury Son has caught a large dose of Metro Fever – tempted by names such as Pomona and Exchange Quay. It is shiny, new and it offers the opportunity to eat a Subway in a bewildering range of locations. The carrot is that we will walk the twins until they are asleep, then get the Metro back to Didsbury. It is simple, not expensive and we all get some fresh air and exercise.

One half term morning we assembled – a buggy with two domes, one pearl, one massive. They now sit forward in the trolley scanning Didsbury like the google street car. My bold-headed boy a meerkat whilst his pearl-bonced sister smiles regally as the world rolls by slowly.

As we left Camp Didsbury Village a lovely change occurred. Although now without squeaky voice and that lovely lack of self-awareness that makes pre nine year olds so open – he was back.

Didsbury Son jabbered endlessly and actually took in my dad jokes and dull tales as we pushed our wide-eyed cargo through Manchester’s Olive Oil district. By Fog Lane, Didsbury Son had hold of my hand and as we pulled into Fusion Deli on Lapwing Lane for a bagel I had one hand-holding and two chirruping children and felt 10 feet tall.

The babies sang, so we walked to Burton Road and I told him all about The Metropolitan being The Midland and the legendary MVITA nights. I felt the joint aches diminish as we strolled.

We ventured even further west. When my boy asked what about the prison-like development at Didsbury Point (possibly the only part of M20 Estate Agents will not own up to) our bond was re-sealed and our mooching time back. It used to be Withington Hospital now its an eyesore.

I can’t wait to start doing this with both hands held.

This Much I know:
1. Money, fame, smaller clothes sizes – none of them are as big a motivation as a snooze when you have twins.

2. The last few months have increased my understanding of body issues exponentially, every joint hurts.

3. You can try. You can plan. But an eight-month old baby in a walker has a reach like a JCB digger.

4. When you have babies, for no real reason you sing everything. My full repertoire of football songs has been re-assembled without swear words for every act during the day.

5. At 7am in Didsbury Village, Cappucino in Didsbury Deli with froth to share is a little haven.

6. I love and hate Boots with a passion.

7. The Metrolink is best chain to open in Didsbury

Next week: Didsbury Festival is back…

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How the Higgs Boson was found in Didsbury Village

The news has all been (apart from Andy Murray and the weather and Barclays and Didsbury Son’s School Play ) Higgs Boson this, CERN that, Physicists from around the world blah blah. They’ve all missed a trick and wasted money.

The Avataresque set they have built under a ski slope near Geneva, where Tefal heads play ping pong with imaginary marbles could have been built here in the capital of Barbers, Charity Shops and Coffee concessions.

The God Particle may be a perjorative term but within the confines of Didsbury ( real Didsbury, not Estate Agents) we have all the god, spirituality, present and ex-past media moguls and university lecturers to unearth the smallest of particles.

First a quick history of CERN. Why CERN? Why Switzerland ? Why bother?

The Americans (represented by TFI Fridays in Cheadle) were in a race with The Japanese (Samsi opposite The Red Lion) . *Although Samsi is still in M20 and the California Rolls are to die for, it is Withington not Didsbury. The race was something to do with Big Bang Theory and writing a follow-up for Brian Cox and Lassana Diara O’Briain.

Still with me? You get 10 credits for an MA in Costa after this.

Europe (Didsbury) got wind of the Japanese v Americans battle and knew we could find Higgs Boson’s God Particle first if we pulled together. With WestFest, Cav Fest, Didsbury Arts Festival and a new bar on Burton Road how could we fail? We (Didsbury / CERN) beat the Asian/North American efforts with the same tenacity Douglas Bader showed in Reach for the Skies.

Higgs missed the collaborative God-inspired particles that the Didsbury Mosque, St. James & Emmanuel, St. Catherine’s, Queens Road Synagogue combined with Fog Lane Park, Healthy Spirit and the MMU Library could create.

If they had arranged for Didsbury’s Primary School mothers to create a chain around Didsbury and awarded an Airy Fairy Cup Cake to the fastest runner we could have created the conditions that the CERN saps spent a Premier League debt creating; easy.

To put the Higgs Boson in easily understandable terms it’s like this.

At CERN (which is a bit like Didsbury Scout Hut) they built a particle accelerator called the Large Hadron Collider. This was in collaboration with Sure Start and The Rotary Club and made its debut at 2008 Didsbury Festival.

It is the accelerator that has enabled the discovery of the Higgs Boson. (A boson is a type of Hadron), Didsbury Wife told me this and that it goes through France as well as Switzerland ( that’s South Didsbury according to Reeds Rains).

The existence of the particle proves that before Zizzi was the least successful Japanese restaurant cum gothic disaster ever. Before that the Clocktower, The Orange Tree, The Old Grey Horse and at the start of time – The Cavalcade.

This proves creationist theory that to make a decent Lamb Shank get the lamb from Axons.

It explains why, seconds after The Big Bang a charity shop opened in Wilmslow Road and means all we have left to discover is what the shop next to No 4. On Warburton Street actually sells.

Next week: pandas procreate after a day out at Fletcher Moss. “coffee and cake at Fusion Deli sealed the deal.” says delighted Zookeeper

How the Higgs Boson was found in Didsbury Village

The news has all been (apart from Andy Murray and the weather and Barclays and Didsbury Son’s School Play ) Higgs Boson this, CERN that, Physicists from around the world blah blah. They’ve all missed a trick and wasted money.

The Avataresque set they have built under a ski slope near Geneva, where Tefal heads play ping pong with imaginary marbles could have been built here in the capital of Barbers, Charity Shops and Coffee concessions.

The God Particle may be a perjorative term but within the confines of Didsbury ( real Didsbury, not Estate Agents) we have all the god, spirituality, present and ex-past media moguls and university lecturers to unearth the smallest of particles.

First a quick history of CERN. Why CERN? Why Switzerland ? Why bother?

The Americans (represented by TFI Fridays in Cheadle) were in a race with The Japanese (Samsi opposite The Red Lion) . *Although Samsi is still in M20 and the California Rolls are to die for, it is Withington not Didsbury. The race was something to do with Big Bang Theory and writing a follow-up for Brian Cox and Lassana Diara O’Briain.

Still with me? You get 10 credits for an MA in Costa after this.

Europe (Didsbury) got wind of the Japanese v Americans battle and knew we could find Higgs Boson’s God Particle first if we pulled together. With WestFest, Cav Fest, Didsbury Arts Festival and a new bar on Burton Road how could we fail? We (Didsbury / CERN) beat the Asian/North American efforts with the same tenacity Douglas Bader showed in Reach for the Skies.

Higgs missed the collaborative God-inspired particles that the Didsbury Mosque, St. James & Emmanuel, St. Catherine’s, Queens Road Synagogue combined with Fog Lane Park, Healthy Spirit and the MMU Library could create.

If they had arranged for Didsbury’s Primary School mothers to create a chain around Didsbury and awarded an Airy Fairy Cup Cake to the fastest runner we could have created the conditions that the CERN saps spent a Premier League debt creating; easy.

To put the Higgs Boson in easily understandable terms it’s like this.

At CERN (which is a bit like Didsbury Scout Hut) they built a particle accelerator called the Large Hadron Collider. This was in collaboration with Sure Start and The Rotary Club and made its debut at 2008 Didsbury Festival.

It is the accelerator that has enabled the discovery of the Higgs Boson. (A boson is a type of Hadron), Didsbury Wife told me this and that it goes through France as well as Switzerland ( that’s South Didsbury according to Reeds Rains).

The existence of the particle proves that before Zizzi was the least successful Japanese restaurant cum gothic disaster ever. Before that the Clocktower, The Orange Tree, The Old Grey Horse and at the start of time – The Cavalcade.

This proves creationist theory that to make a decent Lamb Shank get the lamb from Axons.

It explains why, seconds after The Big Bang a charity shop opened in Wilmslow Road and means all we have left to discover is what the shop next to No 4. On Warburton Street actually sells.

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