This much I have learned as I sail past 39 years 39 months and a bit extra for winter.
1. Years ago I went to a 60th Wedding Anniversary. It was the 80s and even the buffet was brown. The husband got up and said “When we married we agreed that she (he said pointing at his bride) would be in charge of the small issues and I would decide the large issues – in 60 years there hasn’t been a single large issue”. The audience laughed, I titivated my Morten Hacket mullet but it stuck in my mind.
2. Look after the pennies and you can afford a large skinny cappuccino with an extra shot every now and then.
3. By the age of 40 everyone gets the face they deserve; but not necessarily the house, car or the respect.
4. Counting blessings works more quickly than counting sheep, adding up credit scores can lead to insomnia.
5. Feel the fear and see if someone else will do it for you anyway.
6. Laceless shoes and school uniforms without ties can cover up a lack of coordination and dexterity.
7. All your haircuts will eventually come back in to fashion.
8. Reading everyone’s twitter feeds when you are in babysitting alone can make you feel like you are missing out on life, taking a peek at the sleeping heirs can redress the balance.
9. No dad really knows the answer to 99% of the dilemmas in life – the other 1% relate to football.
10. Most things in life are better after a mooch and a coffee.
Not exactly the Dalai Lama – but he didn’t have to spend an hour tonight singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands”.
PS: other things I have learned include the fact that everyone says potato and no one says “potarto”, predictive text should always be turned off to avoid losing friends unwittingly, we all go through a Jamie Oliver phase and Jessie J was right, but didn’t have to pay childcare for twins.