I know all the cliches and their specific realities. Men are from Mars; Women aren’t. That’s the nub of it. The previous platitude of men love women, women love children and children love animals is also patently untrue. It ignores alternative and skates past football and the deep bond I had with a series of hamsters. This began with Thunderflash in the mid 80s who lived in my pocket and died after an incident with an alarm cable and ended in 2006 when a mini Didsbury Son thought Shrub needed an open door at night, in case he got claustrophobic. As anyone with children knows, all hamsters die of heart attacks from chewing too many peanuts. You cannot tell a five year old the lovely cat bit off Humphrey’s head because it was bored – the weeks of nightmares aren’t worth it.
The gender gap can make for fraught weekends, especially as we near the business end of the football season and the start of the working festival season.
Balancing Didsbury Son’s weekend sporting life with the feed, change, play continuum is hard enough. Throw in Mother’s Day, some work and a weekend with live football on television and something has to give. As all good Didsbury Dads know – what gives is you.
Middle Class guilt can be a wonderful thing. It can put that horse Lasagne back in the freezer, finish that homework/washing/bake sale etc. BUT it can also come between a Didsbury Dad and his right to loll aimlessly half-watching football* on TV whilst sending ironic tweets into the ether.
* If you are vegetarian or do not enjoy the pointless drone of live football on TV please insert Quorn into your Lasagne and CSI Miami instead of football.
Men – be like a tree (whatever that means)