Didsburydad's Blog

From the not so mean streets of M20, blog about being a dad, Didsbury and dealing with parental confusion

Archive for the tag “teenagers”

Wordy Rappinghood – why it matters

Words I love and hate.

I was in a queue at a supermarket last week. Let’s not name names, let’s call it Smooths at MediaCityYouK. There was a nice woman standing behind me with two small children. The little one, who looked about thee was getting fractious so I did a little gooning about and we all made friends. The man behind the checkout joined in, uninvited. Apparently he too had a “Threenager”. I stopped. The woman looked slightly embarrassed as we wondered whether to
A) ignore the naffness and move on
B) stab him with the kabanos I held in my hand.
C) go to Morissons across the road.
Threenager? Threenager! Threef#^*ingnager. Threenager is right down there with Terrible Twos, 4 year old girls wearing t-shirts that proclaim “Porn Star” on the front, Keep Calm and Carry on Zumba and shops proclaiming themselves “Krazee” or offering “Kutz”.
This is dangerous territory. Not only is our language too beautiful to throw away like this (you repeat Red Lorry Yellow Lorry after a night on the Calpol and tell me I’m wrong), but we continue to create this theme park expectation.
Didsbury Son is 13. He is still the lovely boy he has always been, but he has chemical surges that are part of the often awkward growing trajectory. We all had/have days as teenagers when the world is against all goes wrong. There are times when we both glare, glower and wonder at each other’s stupidity. The moments may be difficult but they are natural and it is the expectation to behave like a grown toddler that is a self-fulfilling prophesy. I know some lovely teenagers. I know some for whom my best intentions fall well below humanity. They are not like that just because they are teens. 
What are the terrible twos? At 2 the world is a huge playground/fridge that revolves only around you. You are the stars, the moon, the sun and heir (the temptation to go into Smiths lyrics here is almost unbearable) to a oneness that is overwhelming. Between the daily dose of kisses, hugs and moments of joy is/are your child(ren)’s introduction to negotiation. If you have not had to witness UKIP’s abysmal rise, never chewed your nails through the last month of a Premier League season, lost a person close to you or been dumped then of course whether or not you get a biscuit is worthy of tears. 
So the twos are not terrible. They stretch your joints, your patience and your ability to watch the same programme over and over BUT… They only last 52 weeks and I have a feeling that I will miss the babbling, utter adoration and openness that typify this year. 
So there is my ten pence worth. Cliches and Platitudes are not described that way as a compliment; however tiring or frustrating a teenage/toddler tantrum is they are part of the furniture and once they are through this the opportunities to eat fish fingers and buy plastic tat are gone forever and that is testing. 

In praise of the pre-teen: 5 things I appreciate about my eldest son

Five things that I love about nearly teenagers.

The cute, wobbling toddling is source of joy, mostly. Didsbury Son’s ascent to indifferent adolescence continues in a fairly pleasant way. The blend of nappy and nascent narky is a heady combination and sometimes the constant need for attention all around can be difficult to fulfil.

Teens tend to get a bad press and comparisons are wrong. BUT Five good reasons a teeny teen is a source of easy living:

1. On waking up at 4am Didsbury Son will not cry to be picked up, greet me with a smack over the head with a toy, nor will he refuse to settle unless I rock him, singing 80s ballards.

2. If he drops his breakfast on the floor he doesn’t throw the bowl and cup after it just to be sure.

3. No matter how stressful school was, regardless of which school pecking order he was in or out of – Didsbury Son will not march around the living room pulling everything off every shelf shouting “Shoes” at the top of his voice; well not for ages.

4. Possibly the most important – he understands that, although I love him more than really good fried chicken (and I mean, really good) – when The World Cup is on it is his opportunity for “me” time.

5. And most importantly – if you ask him nicely and remind him not to rush it, he makes a lovely cup of tea.

On the down side, I can no longer solve any problem he has by putting pants on my head, picking him up and tipping him upside down whilst blowing a raspberry on his tummy.
C’est la Vie.

(Shhh No. 6 – once old enough they go on trips)

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